Swipe Right on My Anthem: A Tinder Experiment
I descended into the world of Tinder to see what, if anything, our choice of Tinder Anthem says about our personality.
Written by Emily Gruner
Illustrated by Mark Yoder
As I begin to write this, I have matched with yet another guy on Tinder with “SICKO MODE” as his anthem. At this point, I am well-adjusted to the dating app scene. A picture of a white guy holding a fish, another picture of a guy with Post Malone, a shirtless pic here and there, a bio that reads “6’3 ... if it matters.” But then, I stumble across a really attractive guy. His anthem is G-Eazy’s “No Limit” and 6ix9ine is one of his top Spotify artists? He’s probably a douche — swipe left.
For the most part, dating apps have been my only mode of dating. I found my first boyfriend on Tinder; I lost my virginity to a boy from Tinder, and I have had some hilarious experiences from the app but meeting them always comes with a right swipe and that starts with the profile—the pictures, the bio, and the music. It has to be just right. I mean, music is the window to the soul, right?
I decided to explore the dating app world to see if I could gain any insight as to how much someone’s music taste really shows their personality. Before I re-downloaded Tinder and entered the gates of dating hell, I decided to go back in time contact my first Tinder hookup, Caden* for some insight.
First off, this song is totally something I would expect from him. A guy with great taste in music chooses an indie classic. Okay, I get that. But the sound reminded me of him too — he’s a kind guy, and it’s a cute song! Dark –– but cute.
The most interesting part, though, is that he views the song as a conversation starter. To him, any girl he matches with could talk to him about the song ... if she knows it. He sees it as a good starter to conversation, a way to filter potential partners that share the same music taste. At the same time, it's not something that represents him as a person; it's something that represents what he's looking for in someone else.
For example, I remember one night when I hung out with Caden after I went to a Cigarettes After Sex concert. Caden is a kind-hearted, bright, and intelligent guy, but when we were hanging out, he wanted to show me Hundred Waters’s moody album Communicating. That album is a mix of moody and delicate electronic music. That definitely did not match his persona whatsoever — his choice just continued to carry the chill mood.
With that, I started swiping. I had my bio ready sans anthem to stay truly neutral. I started the experience with a slight panic; I accidentally swiped left on the boy of my dreams. His anthem was “Sincerity Is Scary” by The 1975, a song that would’ve made 16-year-old me fall instantly in love. After swiping on anthem after anthem, I pinpointed my first victim. Landon’s* anthem was “Potato Salad” by Tyler, The Creator and A$AP Rocky. Here’s how the conversation went:
What the f--- is that sexual innuendo? That conversation quickly went off-topic and into the realm of sex. Another Tinder douche in the books. Bye, Landon!
Next was Sean*, a student in town for Austin City Limits. He didn’t have an anthem, but his profile said he loved music, so I gave him a try.
As I was going through these conversations with other guys, I realized this experiment was a bust. I liked them on first impression and swiped right, and now we were just getting to know each other through the common ground of music, being courteous and making sure each other isn’t a creep before a potential meet-up. I wasn’t getting any indication of anyone’s persona through the glimpse of their music taste, especially because I was on an app where everyone is just thinking about hooking up.
Could music explain why people are the way they are? Music shapes us as people, but there are so many more factors that go into the molding of our self-identity. You might have gotten the hint that I was obsessed with The 1975 when I was younger. But do I smoke a sh-- ton of cigs and pretentiously voice my opinions like Matty Healy? No! Was I persuaded to buy a leather jacket because of him? Maybe a little bit.
Music is part of the pieces we take from all variables of our lives to create our identities. We take a lesson from our parents here, personality from a TV show there, a significant other’s music taste here. All these influences shape who we are, and some people rely on music to do that more so than others. So, although music is a window to the soul, it’s still only a glimpse.
*All conversations in this story were used with permission, and names have been changed for privacy purposes.