Cover Story: 11 Covers of “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” From Worst to Best

After listening to nearly twenty covers of John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over),” I’ve decided on a spectrum that goes from worst to best. After all, everything exists on a spectrum. Feel free to listen to them all in one sitting.

Written by Kaci Pelias

Photo courtesy of John Lennon, Yoko Ono, and Apple Records

When the Zilker Park lights go up and the sun goes down all too early, there’s nothing that appeases my seasonal depression more than sad Christmas songs. Within this genre, I find the most cathartic release of tears through the subgenre of anti-war protest anthems from the 1970s. Specifically, John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over),” which is objectively the greatest tune for depressed pacifists.

Beginning with whispered Christmas greetings to their kids and featuring a chorus of children in the Harlem Community Choir, many covers exist of this Vietnam protest song. I listened to almost every version and, after an emotionally draining few hours, created a spectrum. This list of ten songs goes from the worst to the very best, giving you a scope of all of the covers in general. Pile on the blankets, sip some hot chocolate, and get ready to cry!

11. Glee Cast

For the most part, this cover sounds just like the original, but without the children’s choir. They’ve replaced the cute kids in the background with a chorus of high schoolers, which is disgusting. Have you ever seen a cute high schooler? No. They don’t exist.

10. Jimmy Buffett

I have no words. At least it still has a children’s choir, even if they sound like they’d rather be anywhere than in the recording studio with Jimmy and his “Margaritaville” twang. He even throws in a steady percussion of maracas and an electric guitar solo at the end for “good” measure. Needless to say, this cover would not put an end to the Vietnam War.

9. Josh Groban

Honestly, this cover’s only redeeming quality is Josh Groban. It disappoints, and does not bring about a single tear. Groban’s full vocals seem to swallow up the true meaning of the season: fighting in protest of the war. He sounds like he showed up to the recording studio and half-heartedly sight-read his way through the song. Furthermore, you can tell that he was paid for this cover. Stick to “The Polar Express,” Groban.

8. Echosmith, feat. Hunter Hayes

This song felt a little too cheery. I don’t know what I was expecting — it’s Hunter Hayes, after all. The young country heartthrob only has so much depth. This song would definitely be on the soundtrack of a Disney Channel Original Movie about teens at Christmas, which was fun. Unfortunately, it wasn’t sad at all, and it was evident that neither Echosmith nor Hunter Hayes has ever known war.

7. Emily Hackett

This acoustic cover sounds like that one vine with the indie girl in the kitchen, but the bridge contains more emotional depth than most male actors in Hollywood offer in their performances. Hackett cuts the tempo in half and relies solely on her vocals for a soft and heartbreaking claim that “war is over, if you want it.” Overall, I’m willing to overlook the Tumblr-esque sound.

6. Tim Christensen

Another acoustic cover! I listened to this song in the chilly outdoor patio of a coffee shop while gazing introspectively at the sunset. It really makes you reflect on the year and Christmases past, which is the essence of the original song. I’m unsure if I preferred this cover over Emily Hackett’s because it was genuinely better or if I was influenced by an internalized misogynistic bias against female voices in indie music. Regardless, this version made me cry, which is all that matters.

5. Carly Simon

Carly Simon’s deep, comforting voice was a warm cup of hot chocolate. This is the song that you sing with your grandfather as you sit in front of a warm fire. Simon’s cover would be sung at a protest in the 1970s in a desperate plea to bring peace to the world. There’s an edge to her voice that calls for urgency and convinced me to donate money to UNICEF.

4. Celine Dion

Celine Dion is perfect. I felt like I was in a huge stadium concert with a full orchestra. The song felt like magic and completely embodied the spirit of Christmas. If you recall the scene from “The Polar Express” when the kids are making their way through the North Pole and they hear the faint and distant sound of “Silver Bells,” this cover is for you. Mainly because the beginning of the song has the same nostalgic distance.

3. Sarah McLachlan

Need I say more? We know Sarah can make us cry! This cover sticks pretty close to the original, with Sarah’s smooth and tender vocals holding our hands as we walk downtown to look at the lights with friends and family, catching soap snowflakes on our tongues. Where Carly Simon’s cover is marked by urgency, Sarah’s more calmly suggests the end to war. This song is a soft smile and a single tear.

2. John Lennon and Yoko Ono

What? The original is only second best? Yep! Sorry, I’m knocking John and Yoko down a few points thanks to Lennon’s history of abuse. However, I will say the soft little “Merry Christmas”es to their kids at the beginning is the best part of this whole list.

1. Sleeping at Last

There’s something about Ryan O’Neal’s voice that just inevitably makes me sob. The man behind Sleeping at Last created a cover so soft and tender and aching; I can feel my heartstrings straining. Though a heartbreaking reflection on the violence and sadness of the world, this cover has a bit of hope peeking through. I think it’s what we need most right now.

Of course, there are so many more covers of this song, some of which are comically bad. For your listening pleasure, I’ve created a playlist of the top ten and a few honorable mentions. I wish you all happy holidays and ask that you please listen to some happier tunes once you’ve finished the playlist!

john lennon and yoko ono's "happy xmas (war is over)" is objectively the greatest holiday tune for depressed pacifists.

This article was added to Cover Story after its publication, upon the creation of the Cover Story series.

ANALYSISAfterglow ATXDecember 11, 2018