My Afterglow Moment: The One Time Country Music Was the Answer

My life was in a constant state of chaos and I never knew what to expect. However, the one thing I could always rely on was music.

Written by Kris Maxymillian

My Afterglow Moment is a series where staff writers and editors share their favorite music-related memories.

Content warning: This story contains themes of domestic violence and emotional abuse.

When I was born, I wasn’t dealt the best hand of cards. I was born to a mother who gave me away to my loving grandmother and an abusive aunt. I lived the first thirteen years of my life in poverty while being verbally and physically abused.

Music was the thing that got me through the day. I would watch VH1 for the music videos while getting ready for school and listen to my radio at night before I went to sleep. I even put a piece of tape on the power light so no one knew I was listening to the radio when I was supposed to be asleep. My love for music came from my grandfather. He was my knight in shining armor when I was a kid. I spent every possible second with him and he would always have country music playing in the house. One particular song we would always listen to was “I’m Already There” by Lonestar, so it became our song.

Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away in 2005 and my life took a steep turn for the worse. My grandfather was always my protector from my aunt and after his passing, my grandmother tried to protect me. She tried her best, but she was no match to the brutality that awaited me. The older I got, the more the abuse increased and eventually it became a weekly occurrence.

When I was around the age of 11, I met my second guardian angel: my first cousin Hollie. She became my escape from reality. I would go to her house every other weekend and try to forget everything. Eventually, my aunt realized how important Hollie was to me and found a way to cut her out of my life. She threatened Hollie to keep her from coming to pick me up and eventually I didn’t see Hollie anymore.

After Hollie was ripped from my life, everything at home was harder than usual. The situation hit its climax on December 18, 2013, the day when I couldn’t endure the abuse and insults anymore. I was tired of being humiliated in front of family, friends, and strangers. However, I felt bad for wanting to leave. Even though I faced some of the worst moments of my life living with my grandmother and aunt, I loved my grandmother and it was my home. This was where I went to school and had friends. It was incredibly difficult to step away from the only place I had even known.

With tears in my eyes lying in my room and listening to music, I sat confused on what to do. Then, the radio started to play “I’m Already There” by Lonestar. I was immediately reminded of my grandfather and remembered all the times he protected me. I took the song as a sign that he was trying to protect me one more time. It was his way of pushing me to a safer, more stable home. In that instant, I went to my grandmother and begged her to call Hollie and ask her to let me live with her. I pleaded that I couldn’t bear what I was going through and told my grandmother one day she wouldn't be able to protect from my aunt. I told her I was sorry that I was leaving and that I would always love her.

Two days later, Hollie picked me up from school and that was the last day I lived in that environment. I was able to live with a loving family and finally have a normal life. I was told every day that I was loved and mattered. I was able to express myself and breathe without repercussions. I didn’t have to walk on eggshells, guessing when the next abusive incident would take place. My life has been impacted in so many ways from that one decision that  I wouldn’t have made if I didn’t hear that song on the radio. I wouldn’t be in college writing this article if it wasn’t for that moment, and that moment wouldn’t have happened without music.