Funeral Bangers for the Deceased

You have a playlist for the shower, for the car, for studying — why shouldn’t you have one for your funeral?

Written by Dylan Keesee

Illustrated by Ayesha Din

Funerals get a bad rap. Many people view their funeral as the sad end, but fail to realize it’s the perfect opportunity to convey your feelings for the last time. What better way than with the perfect song? Whether you’re choosing a song to make your funeral attendees cry or get litty one last time, the music playing as your casket is lowered into the ground will immortalize you. Here are some of our top choices for a final ballad.

“Knuck If You Buck” — Crime Mob feat. Lil Scrappy

This song is for the instigators who love to watch the world burn. Your death will draw people of all backgrounds and ideologies, inevitably leading to a tense atmosphere. In this environment, all it takes is a small spark for a fight to break out — and this song is that spark. “Knuck If You Buck” instills a fiery anger in even the most timid of people with its high energy beat and verses about being ready to fight at a moment’s notice. The funeral should be an all-out brawl before the second verse.

“Shot For Me” — Drake

Do you keep in touch with all of your exes? Do you relish the feeling of being missed? If so,  Drake’s “Shot For Me” is the funeral banger for you. Guaranteed to make anyone think of their living ex under normal circumstances, if played at your funeral, this song will make all your previous lovers link your death to it for the rest of their lives! Just imagine the tears that will fall as Drake’s outro plays: “May your neighbors respect you / Trouble neglect you / Angels protect you//And heaven accept you.”

“I Don’t Like” — Chief Keef feat. Lil Reese

“I Don’t Like” is a testament to all the people Chief Keef and Lil Reese have major problems with. This song is well-suited for a funeral that will draw enemies from far and wide that are showing up to make sure you’re really gone. Let them know one last time that your hatred for them will live on forever as the sweet, hateful melodies of “I Don’t Like” play in the background of your eulogy.

“If I Die Young” — The Band Perry

This one goes out to all the cowboys and cowgirls. There is no song more on the nose than “If I Die Young” for a classic melancholic funeral — it’s the “Can’t Help Falling In Love” of funerals. Kimberly Perry sings about an untimely death, but one in which her loved ones should celebrate her life rather than being sad about her passing. This song will make your family and friends bawl, but hey, catharsis is good for the soul.

“Dreams and Nightmares” — Meek Mill

There is not a more expertly crafted inspirational song than “Dreams and Nightmares” by Meek Mill. While not specifically about death, Meek’s grateful bragging in the first half of the song contrasts the beat drop halfway through the song as his verse turns into an angry rant. The combination of these emotions and high energy is sure to be the push someone at your funeral needs to avenge your death. Honestly, this song could even bring you back to life –– if played at a loud enough volume.

The soundtrack of your funeral will matter more than you realize, and hopefully this list has made you think about what you want your attendees to listen to. From “Buy U a Drank” by T-Pain to “Hallelujah” by Rufus Wainwright (from the major motion picture “Shrek”), the possibilities are endless.