The Feminine Musique: “I Need To Be In Love”

In this perfectly ‘70s tune, Karen Carpenter sings the grievances of an illuminated woman on the other side of a breakup. Having written this song before her own troublesome and short-lived marriage, the songwriter may have unwittingly predicted her own fate. 

The Feminine Musique is a series where writers analyze portrayals of women in music.

Written by Lucy Chong

Photo courtesy of Sky TV

“I Need To Be In Love” was one of the Carpenter’s lesser known tracks, but it was also Karen’s favorite. This lead sister’s alto vocals managed to mesmerize an entire decade. In a time period where this blend of soft rock and pop music may have been considered as “girly” and disregarded, the Carpenters proved that honest songwriting distinguishes itself and stands the test of time. 

The hardest thing I've ever done

Is keep believing

There's someone in this crazy world for me

The song’s very first verse describes the universal struggle of every hopeless romantic. These lines manage to simultaneously portray women as seasoned warriors of the dating field and damsels awaiting their rescue. These days, most people get to experience both of these roles all around. Saying it’s “the hardest thing I’ve ever done” is an exaggeration that plays into gender roles, but gender roles were definitely on Karen’s mind as a single woman in the 70s waiting to start a family. 

I used to say "No promises

Let's keep it simple"

But freedom only helps you say good-bye

It took a while for me to learn

That nothing comes for free

The price I've paid is high enough for me

Karen sings that she’s tried keeping things casual and avoiding commitment, but finds that it’s not a good technique if you're in it for the long haul. Reaching this point of enlightenment qualifies her as a veteran of love, but it also communicates that every woman reaches a tipping point. After the exhausting but necessary trial and error of figuring out love, women are usually already fed up.

I know I need to be in love

I know I've wasted too much time

I know I ask perfection of

A quite imperfect world

And fool enough to think that's what I'll find

Karen Carpenter sings this chorus three times, almost chiding herself for being optimistic in the first place. Singing that she needs to be in love, these lines echo the pressure she may have been feeling from the time-sensitive nature of women’s marital prospects at the time. The dramatic melodic arc of this main refrain contributes to the song’s typical schmaltzy 70s sound. Karen singing this openly about love and loneliness subliminally may reinforce the stereotype that women are overly emotional. But owning one’s feelings, as seen in this song, turns from a sign of weakness to a sign of strength. 

So here I am with pockets full of good intentions

But none of them will comfort me tonight

I'm wide awake at four a.m

Without a friend in sight

Hanging on a hope but I'm alright

Karen leaves listeners with this last verse followed by two more chorus repetitions. She leads with the point that “good intentions” really don’t make a difference in the end. The dating pool consists of vulnerable interactions between humans, and all one can do is hope that the other person’s intentions are good as well. Like so many other women, Karen got a bad apple. According to an article from The Guardian, her beau wasted her money on lavish expenditures and failed to mention that he’d had a vasectomy. Luckily, she managed to change her will before her passing. 

After she told her husband that she wanted to start a family, production associate on The Carpenters’ Lovelines “Itchie” Ramone, received a call from Karen. Her husband, Thomas James Burris, called her a “bag of bones” and made it clear he did not want children. Six years prior to this confrontation, Karen sang that she’d “wasted too much time,” and that it’s “a quite imperfect world.” If only she hadn’t been so right. The journey that she embarked on as a woman reconciling with her love life was documented through every song she wrote. Her affinity for this song in particular is no wonder. This song’s sage advice rightfully places women as all-knowing and unintentional warriors of love. The wars waged are many and varied, and the intent of music like this is to save some girls from waging too many.