Album Anniversaries: 'Ctrl by SZA:' A Never-ending Cycle

Happy Birthday, SZA. In honor of the alt-R&B goddess turning 29, here’s a look back at her premier album.

In Album Anniversaries, writers honor their favorite aging albums and their subsequent legacies, revealing which projects have stood the test of time.

Written by Andrew Zhang

Photo courtesy of Billboard

Whenever we listen to our hand-crafted Spotify playlists, we usually set them on shuffle/repeat, turn up the music, and go on with our lives.

But how often do we actually stop to think about not just albums, but the order the songs are in? Alt-R&B artist SZA’s freshman album Ctrl is arranged purposefully, with the album bookended by short monologues from SZA’s grandmother — who the artist describes as one of the key figures in her life — and different songs reflecting various emotions in her life.

I discovered Ctrl on a whim, scrolling through suggested songs on Spotify my junior year of high school to fill my drives on thoughtless, hot summer days. But once I took the time to listen to the album, I realized one thing. Playing Ctrl in order, it feels eerily cyclical — upbeat songs like “Prom” are followed by chilling, heavy songs like “The Weekend.” In Ctrl’s case, the cycles of lively and darker songs, compounded by her grandmother’s words at the beginning and end of the album, create a message declaring the repetitive nature of life.  

The album begins with a declaration from SZA: “I’m writing this letter to let you know…” as a preamble, not only for the first track “Supermodel” l, but  for the entire album. The 49-minute masterpiece feels incredibly personal, as if SZA is singing you through an entire period of life, and the preamble is able to capture the intonation of the story proceeding it.

SZA represents the better parts of life with songs that are more upbeat, like “Prom” and “Go Gina.” During “Prom,” she tells her counterpart to “not take it personal” while she takes time to find herself. The song captures a nearly universal feeling of growing up, and her desire to just enjoy the good times while life tries to drag her forward. In “Go Gina”, she declares her freedom from lovers and the world with lyrics “I belong to nobody, hope it don’t bother you / You could mind your business.”

However, she also feels dragged down continually. During the sombered “Broken Clocks,” SZA expresses her desire to just “take it day by day,” knowing at the same time she’s “just burnin’ daylight.” While feeling freed on occasion and burdened at others, SZA illustrates her impression of life’s contradictory nature, using two opposing emotions to pull her apart.

Apart from the normal ups and downs, Ctrl tells a tale of SZA’s constant wistfulness. During “Normal Girl,” she longs for a constant in her life, which, explained through “Garden (Say It Like Dat)” she believes is a former lover. Features from James Fauntleroy on “Wavy (Interlude)” and Isaiah Rashad on “Pretty Little Birds” help bridge the scattered messages on life by tying together the songs that carry them. 

“20 Something” concludes SZA’s story. Although the ending melancholic, it also presents some sort of hope. She’s okay with not understanding her future, while giving into the seemingly endless cycle of life that she seems to face on a daily basis.  

One of the unique aspects of the album was SZA’s addition of several monologues by her grandmother. Her grandmother hypothesizing about the danger of losing control at the beginning of the album sharply contrasts with her final statement of control being an illusion she'll hold onto regardless. The cycle of life SZA describes ends with her grandmother's skeptical thought of how real control might not actually be substantive, and that life just has to eventually run its course. Her words are like receiving elderly wisdom—your grandparents tell you something as a child that you don't initially understand, only to realize the seriousness of those words when you recall them years later. 

It’s difficult to put Ctrl into words — it’s breathtaking, harrowing, beautiful, mellow, dark, unconventional, and at least a dozen other descriptors. With regards to SZA’s future in writing, however, there are a lot of question marks. I was saddened when she announced a while back that even though the only album she has released is Ctrl, the next one she releases will be her last. Her reasons behind her decision remain rather mysterious, just like the persona she employs in person and throughout her album.

One thing’s for sure, though. With her promise of her sophomore album being her last and “the best of her life,” I’ll surely be counting down the days till its release.