Music as a Gift

A collection of interviews exploring how we shape our relationships through giving and receiving music in its many forms.

Written by Kasey Clarke
Illustration by Jessica Wu

I spoke with a few UT students about how they have gifted music. Whether you are giving or receiving it, music can be a powerful way to communicate your feelings, ideas, or self-image. Some music we share represents the way we want to be seen by others, while other music communicates the way we feel about others. Although each student’s personal experience was different, they all used music to communicate things they wanted to say when there was no easy way to say it.

Gifting Playlists

Marilynn Gonzalez (Freshman, Neuroscience)

What did you share and how did you share it?

I gave a playlist to a person who was important to me. The playlist went with a letter and songs that remind me of the person and how I felt about them.

Who was the person?

My ex-boyfriend.

Did you give it to him for anything special?

Originally, it was supposed to be for an anniversary type thing, but it ended up taking some time. He was so easy to blurt out his feelings, and for me it was a little harder … it was the best way that I could say, “This is how I feel, straight up.”

So what were some of the songs you included?

Oh, if I can remember ... I know some were “Get You” by Daniel Caesar, “Back to You” by Louis Tomlinson, “Reasons” by Khalid, “Down for You” by Russ, “Like Me Better” by Lauv. Just things with that kind of vibe.

So what was his reaction to the playlist? Were you able to see it?

Yeah, he really liked it. It was in a box with a bunch of stuff. Later, he made his own playlist based on it and sent it back to me.

That’s so sweet! Do you feel like it affected your relationship, how he reacted?

Yeah for sure. Whenever he would feel like I wasn’t showing my emotions, he would go back to the playlist. It was reassurance to him for how I felt.

So for you, this was a tool for you to show your emotions?

Definitely. I can put my emotions about myself into words with no problem. I always know what I’m thinking about myself, but when it comes to talking to someone else I have trouble with that.

I totally get that. Saying your feelings face-to-face can be so hard.

Yeah, I don’t know if I get nervous but sometimes it feels like I just can’t find the right words, so it’s easier to let a song do it for me.

That’s a really nice way to put it. So what was the process for picking songs for the playlist? Did it take a long time?

I’ve always connected songs to how I feel. Sometimes I would just be listening to a song and think, “Oh! This is how I feel.” So, if I heard a song and started to think of him I would start to correlate my feelings of him and the song, so it was added to the list

So you let the music speak for you.

Yeah, I like to listen to music that I feel like I can relate to. I will do that about anything I feel. If I listen to a song that I feel like relates to what I’m feeling, it can guide me though what I’m feeling and put it into words, so I don’t have to think about it myself. I can just think about the song and know how that feels to me.

Gifting Concerts

Daniela Herrera (Senior, Psychology and Sociology)

Okay, first, what was the thing you gave or received?

Actually I don’t have them yet, but I’m going to receive concert tickets.

Oh, from who?

A friend of mine won concert tickets to see our favorite artist Jon Bellion. We are going in June to celebrate my 22nd birthday.

She won them? How did that happen?

She called into a radio contest in Houston.

That’s so exciting! So how did you find out?

She actually sent me a Snapchat video of them when they were telling her like, “You just won, congratulations!” and I didn’t hear it at first. I was just like, “Wow, that’s so cool for you.” She had to tell me, like, “No, we’re going.”

So what was your reaction?

I would say there was a solid, like, ten-second screaming back and forth when she told me. RIP anyone near us that day.

That’s too funny. How did you guys get introduced to this artist?

A friend of ours introduced us [to him] a couple of years ago. The first Jon Bellion concert I went to [was] with my friend, and my car got broken into. And because of that, I actually got to meet Jon Bellion, and he hugged me. That’s when he became my favorite artist.

What? How did that happen?

We used a shady parking lot and someone broke through the window. Two minutes after my car got broken into, Jon came out to meet his fans, and I was freaking out so he came over to me. I was, like, fangirling while crying, but he was so nice.

So you and your friend have already gone to a concert of his together. How do you know her?

We used to work together in a restaurant when I was a senior in high school, and we’ve been good friends since then. Last semester we talked together every morning, so it’s super cute. I really enjoy our friendship.

And Jon Bellion has bonded you?

I think one of my favorite things about our friendship is that we discovered him at the same time. So we just love to get together and listen to his music. Anytime [he does] a concert in Houston we like to go together. His music is really what brought us together. When you are listening to music with other people, you both love a song and you understand the song even if you don’t love each other, but it can make you know more about each other.

Photo courtesy of Daniela Herrera

Gifting Discoveries

Devin Reyes (Junior, Public Relations)

What was the thing you gave or received?

Not really one thing, but for a while I’ve been sharing musing with my friends by playing music in the car. Part of hanging out with friends is you are either talking or not doing much, so music is a good way to be doing something without putting that effort in. It can set the vibe. It can say what you might want to say.

Is there music someone shared with you that you specifically remember?

I can’t remember what I first started listening to, but it [could have been] rap. I remember in 5th grade my friend introduced me to Lil Wayne, and that started this whole rap phase that I’m still in.

For you, it’s more of a two-sided relationship and exchange.

It’s definitely like having a conversation. Now I think it is socially desirable to always have the latest music or know an artist before anyone else, so that’s what keeps me searching. And getting music from other people says a lot.

Do you feel like your friends have contributed to what and who you listen to?

For sure, even [my friend] started sharing music with me, and I’ve been enjoying her music, and I just met her like a month or two months ago. Now I’m listening to her music, which is cool because you kind of get to know a person through what they listen to.

Do you ever feel surprised by what people listen to?

It’s surprising if it’s unexpected. I guess in general I’m shocked a lot when people say [they like] punk rock. It tells you a lot about someone, if you find out they listen to, like, ‘80s rock music, and they don’t look like it.

So do you feel like sharing music has expanded the breadth of what you listen to?

That kind go goes back to finding new artists. It doesn’t have to be in one genre. It could be across [genres]. Also I think a big part of the experience is going to concerts and music festivals. I’m always looking [for] who I want to listen to. Going with people exposes you to more new things.

That’s a very social thing as well.

Yeah, for sure.

What is the most surprising thing you’ve listened to?

Opera, I guess. I had a girlfriend and visited her in Germany, and her parents took us to the opera, but after we went, I started listening to it on my own a little bit. I think sometimes when people introduce you to a new genre of music, it can set you into a phase. It doesn’t always affect your overall music taste, but you can spend some time with it and remember listening to it.  It introduces you to someone else’s culture.

The phase thing can create a moment in time.

Yeah! Like literally, when people are like, “This song reminds me of junior year.” Definitely relatable associating music with your friends. It’s about when you were listening to it, who you were listening to it with, even getting with your woes. It makes a difference.