The 10-Year Challenge: Bopping to the Beat of Internalized Misogyny

Celebrated Canadian punk star Avril Lavigne captured our angsty hearts in the early 2000s. A decade later, pop artist Ariana Grande has skyrocketed to fame since her Nickelodeon days. The pair’s thematically similar hit songs are one 10-Year Challenge we could do without.

Written by Samantha Paradiso

Photo courtesy of Noisey and Variety

Chunky highlights, low rise jeans, thick eyeliner, chopstick buns, and everything plaid. All of these trends may draw you back into the weird fever dream that was the early 2000s. From “Donnie Darko” to “Lady Marmalade” to “Gilmore Girls,” the early 2000s gave millenials and Gen Z a ton of material to reminisce about for the next 10 years. But perhaps one of the most iconic bops of this period was Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” in 2009. Play this banger at a gathering and you’re sure to get the crowd going. However, upon further listening to this hit’s lyrics, it leaves to question whether we should really be singing along to it with such intensity.

Within the first few seconds of the song, there’s already some questionable messages. In the opening verse, Lavigne sings, “Hey, hey / You, you / I don't like your girlfriend / No way, no way / I think you need a new one / Hey, hey / You, you / I could be your girlfriend.” The repetitive and catchy “Hey, hey / You, you” sprinkled throughout the song suggests that Lavigne is pleading for her coveted man’s attention.

Moreover, she sings: “I don’t like your girlfriend” and “I think you need a new one.” In these lyrics, Lavigne suggests she should replace her boo’s girlfriend, thus implying that for a woman to get what she wants, she must bring other women down. Later on in the song, she goes on to say that his girlfriend is  “like so, whatever” and that he “could do so much better,” framing her as a product for her boyfriend’s use rather than as a companion. By saying he needs a new girlfriend, Lavigne objectifies the girlfriend and depicts her as a defunctory partner simply because she doesn’t like her.

While Lavigne continuously bashes the other woman, she simultaneously sells herself to the guy she’s appealing to. She sings “I think you know / I'm damn precious” and “I’m the motherf---in’ princess,” making it sound like her appeal as a girlfriend is a business pitch, urgently trying to convince him of her worth. Her choice of the word “princess” implies a higher rank than his current partner, making Lavigne an appealing catch.

However, she urges him not out of regard for his well-being but rather out of her own selfish desires. She sings “You're so fine / I want you mine / You're so delicious / I think about you all the time / You're so addictive.” By describing her crush with superficial words like “delicious” and “addictive,” Lavigne indicates her crush is likely just a fleeting desire — and certainly not someone worth all this trouble. Upon analysis, there really is no other way to interpret this catchy tune than as a song that pits women against one another to compete for a man.

Now, a decade later, Ariana Grande has released “break up with your boyfriend, i’m bored” as the final song in her new thank u, next album. Contrasting greatly with the empowering hit “thank u, next” that dominated the charts in December, “break up with your boyfriend, i’m bored” is less about self-empowerment and more about tearing other women down. Much like Lavigne’s “Girlfriend,” Grande’s song directly addresses the man she’s lusting after. In the chorus, she repeatedly sings, “Break up with your girlfriend / Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm bored.” Her continual reiteration commands her potential partner to act upon her self-centered wishes, completely disregarding the effect it may have on the other woman.

In the next line, Grande sings, “This s--- always happens to me (Yeah) / Why can't we just play for keeps? (Mmm-mmm) / Practically on my knees (Yeah, yeah).” The lyric “practically on my knees” suggests that the boyfriend is in the position of power, leaving Ariana to beg for his attention. Knowing this reality, she sings, “You can say I'm hatin' if you want to / But I only hate on her 'cause I want you.” In these lines, Grande admits that to get what she wants — male attention — she’s willing to bring other women down. There is no real justification for toxic female rivalry, but similar to “Girlfriend,” Grande has no explanation for her devious behavior other than the fact that she’s bored.  

So, why should we care? Both artists’ popular hits perpetuate a culture that pits women against each other to appease the male gaze and gain men’s approval. Just as these artists perform for the male gaze, everyday women do the same. When artists put out music that evokes messages of female rivalry, they’re essentially saying women must compete against one another if they want to prove themselves worthy of male attention.

Whether it’s 2009 or 2019, these harmful ideals are still being perpetuated in our media. Avril Lavigne may have retired her streaky pink hair, but Ariana Grande’s new song shows that the same ideas come back year after year, –– just with an updated sound and catchier beat. Either way, both are complicit in endorsing an internalized misogyny that tears women down.