Album Review: Beabadoobee’s Raw Expression on 'Fake It Flowers' Makes For an Intimate Listening Experience

British-Filipino singer-songwriter beabadoobee ventures into new territory on Fake It Flowers with a more alternative rock sound and vulnerability gushing from each track.

Written by Heather Stewart

Bea Kristi, better known as the 20-year-old musician beabadoobee, has grown in popularity since the release of her first lo-fi bedroom pop single, "Coffee," in September 2017. Powfu, a Canadian rapper, used a sample of the single, creating the hit song “Death Bed (Coffee for Your Head)” that went viral on platforms such as YouTube and TikTok in early 2020.

Beabadoobee’s grassroots music career, which started with her learning guitar and writing songs at age 17 in her friend’s bedroom, has quickly blossomed in sound, authenticity, and lyrical intelligence. With her first released song hitting the charts in 2020, a successful discography, and the extra time to be creative due to the pandemic, it was the perfect time for beabadoobee to write and release a new album. Fake It Flowers, released Oct. 16, is an emotionally raw, ‘90s grunge-inspired album that combines beabadoobee’s original lo-fi bedroom pop sound with newer, more-refined guitar-heavy alternative rock.

The authenticity beabadoobee portrays throughout Fake It Flowers makes the listening experience more intimate and enjoyable. She achieves this through the sometimes painfully honest lyrics, as well as the use of text painting, or the composition of music that parallels the meaning of the lyrics. This relationship between beabadoobee’s lyrics and auditory structure makes listeners of Fake It Flowers feel like they’re reading the artist’s diary — or, because of the ease of relating to the strong emotion portrayed in each sound and lyric, that beabadoobee just read theirs.

With its edgy sound and lyrics, “Care” serves as the perfect opener for Fake It Flowers. The track’s escalating guitar and drums elevate its empowering theme, making it the perfect song to blast on full volume and sing along to in the car. For a song that addresses the frustration that comes from interactions with people who aren’t genuinely interested in understanding someone, it intially sounds easy-going.

The opening line, “It’s been awhile since I talked about it,” reflects beabadoobee’s unspoken feelings over soft notes. Then the pre-chorus, with its ascending sound and lyrics that read, “I don’t want your sympathy / Stop saying you give a shit / ‘Cause you really don’t… / Care,” demonstrates beabadoobee’s more frustrated emotions. The singer-songwriter doesn’t fully tap into an alternative sound until the chorus, which further emphasizes this anger. This contrast is present in the visuals of the music video for “Care,” which pairs lighter visuals with the soft, slow verses and harsh, angsty visuals with the chorus.

The second song on the album, “Worth It,” is “a bit of a confession song (regarding cheating on an S.O.) but also an understanding that it’s a part of life,” beabadoobee told NME in September. The subject matter of the song makes it one of the more exposing tracks on the album. Just as beabadoobee mentioned, the song doesn’t handle cheating as a black-and-white issue, but rather demonstrates the complex feelings and thoughts experienced by someone who isn’t loyal in a relationship. This intricacy is further accomplished by the syncopation — rhythms played together that make part of the music off-beat — used throughout the song. The messier guitar-heavy chorus scratches the impulsive, surface level of cheating while the slowed down verses demonstrate the more regretful, human aspect. This track provokes the audience to manifest a deep feeling of empathy or comfort, depending on their past experiences.

Unlike the first two songs on Fake It Flowers, “Dye It Red” is inspired by the experience of others in beabadoobee’s life. This doesn’t destroy the personal sentiments laced throughout the album, though. It maintains the ‘90s vibe of “Care,” but conquers a more specific subject matter: overcoming relational abuse. “Dye It Red” is different because its anger is mostly found in the lyrics, while the music has an ethereal, euphoric effect. In a way, the contrast between pointed lyrics such as, “Kiss my ass, you don’t know jack / And if you say you understand, you don’t,” and the slow, repetitive chords of an electric guitar backdropping the fiery words, symbolizes the joy that comes from embracing anger and, ultimately, independence. This notion of liberating autonomy is symbolized by the act of dying hair which is described in the chorus:

“So let me cut my hair and dye it red if I want to
I haven’t felt myself so comfortable
I’m not stopping now”

The joyous energy of “Dye It Red” emphasizes the comfort and freedom experienced by someone leaving a toxic relationship rather than the dreadful things they endured while still in it. The increasingly joyous guitar sequences throughout the song further underscore the long-lasting effects of this departure, which is expressed in the final two lines of the chorus. Ultimately, the song is an ode to not caring what people think, whether listeners apply that to their romantic, familial, or platonic relationships — or just society in general. "Dye It Red" is a heartfelt anthem that celebrates recognizing and leaving toxicity while embracing self-expression and autonomy.

The interlude, “Back to Mars,” serves as a transition to a darker, more personal mood on the album, according to a comment beabadoobee made on Genius. With direct references to her personal relationships, the slowed strumming of a guitar, distant strings, soft spoken vocals, and the heavy follow-up song, the track definitely lives up to the artist’s expectations. The album’s overarching emotionality is immediately prevalent when listening to “Charlie Brown,” a song about self-harm. No longer focusing on broader issues, beabadoobee approaches this topic with care. While she includes no extreme references to self-harm, the slowed-down, ticking sound of the verses creates an anxious, existential feeling that quickly translates into the exasperated pain expressed in the chorus. Whether someone can tragically relate to the words, “If I could die here a million times / Then what’s the point of trying…” or uses the song to sympathize with others, “Charlie Brown” is an authentic depiction of how depression can eat away at someone’s thoughts and motivation.

Diving even deeper with “Emo Song,” beabadoobee treks through childhood trauma using a slower musical approach while maintaining the use of impassioned, poetic lyrics:

“You call me up, and lie again
Like all the men I used to trust
Nobody knows when I was young
I lost myself in cosmic dust”

The lyrics demonstrate how childhood trauma can manifest in adulthood through constant reflections and ties between the past and present. References to cosmic dust in the verses symbolize the childhood trauma that beabadoobee is still stuck in. The rhythmic instrumentals and twinkling echos combined with the more synthesized areas of the song create a nostalgic feeling that also puts a pit in listeners’ stomachs. This track evokes a feeling of childish longing and grief that can leave listeners sifting through the hurt stemming from childhood experiences.

“Sorry” blends soft music techniques with guitar-heavy segments, creating an eerie effect. In an interview with Apple Music, beabadoobee revealed that “Sorry” is about one of her old friends falling into a vicious cycle of drug abuse. The pain of the experience being written about and re-lived by the artist is felt almost immediately when listening. The silence at the beginning of the track, and the slow, simple guitar strumming reflect the guilt, hurt, and regret that accompany seeing a friend fall into addiction while the guitar-heavy parts demonstrate the desperate anger at the lost potential of what the friend’s life could have been.

Beabadoobee does not shy away from the topic of romance on Fake It Flowers. “Horen Sarrison,” a love song written about her boyfriend, Soren Harrison, is a beautiful ballad that paints a picture of everything that comes with falling in love. While the song successfully expresses the blissful aspects of falling for someone, it also highlights the uneasiness and fear that comes with love. These feelings are captured by beabadoobee singing, "And I want you to know that I’m in love / But I don’t want you to feel comfortable,” along with the punctuated, sharp vocalization that contrast the ease of the frollocking, symphonic instrumentals. However, at the end of the song, her voice softens, symbolizing slipping into the comfort of love rather than fear as she declares, “I want you to know I’m in love.” The complexity of this song is chill-inducing.

In “How Was Your Day?,” beabadoobee uses dulcet instrumentals and purposely imperfect vocals to invoke the nostalgic experience of remembering and wanting someone back. This soft-natured song serves as a perfect contrast to the alternative sound of "Together," the final track in this back-to-back trilogy of relationship songs. “Together” testifies to the ups and downs of relationships and the concept of dependency. Beabadoobee said in an interview with Apple Music that groups like Veruca Salt and Hole inspired the rock and roll sound. The track uses the quiet-loud-quiet sound structure, demonstrating the album’s ‘90s influence. The transition from the bridge to the chorus further uses this sound structure by switching between the quiet synthesizer sound and band-driven instrumentals.

Beabadoobee belts, “‘Cause I don’t want to let you know / I’ve been thinking of letting you go / Guess that’s how the whole story ends / At least we’re together again.” The contrast between these lyrics and the push-and-pull feeling created between heavy and soft sounds parallel the conflicting emotions that come with desiring complete independence yet not wanting to be severed from a lover.

Following three passionate love tracks, “Yoshimi, Forest, Magdalene” is a fun, hodgepodge conclusion to Fake It Flowers. It’s a cute song that references beabadoobee’s ideal names for her future children: “And I think I wanna marry him / But I really don’t wanna freak him out / I know all our children’s names, they’re called / Yoshimi, Forest, Magdalene.” This energy-packed song leaves listeners on a high note after enduring the alluring depth and heavy emotion prevalent throughout the rest of the album.

Fake It Flowers further establishes beabadoobee as a truly multi-faceted musician who is willing to put her life into her creations, no matter how messy it gets. Her unique, ‘90s-inspired sound combined with her lyrical and musical talent makes it possible for the singer-songwriter to turn her struggles, thoughts, and ideas into tear-jerking art. No matter which song you have on repeat, beabadoobee’s complex lyrics and perfect balance between grungy and delicate sounds will reach the depths of your soul and leave you feeling empowered to consecutively embrace your internal rage, sorrow, confusion, or elation.

REVIEWSAfterglow ATXOctober 28, 2020heather stewart