Album Review: Rachel Ohnsman Explores the Silver Linings in ‘Moon Songs’

Pennsylvania-born singer-songwriter Rachel Ohnsman carefully reminisces on her experiences with sexual trauma, hookup culture, and the in-between, guiding listeners closer and closer to the light in her second studio album.  

Written by Sloan Wyatt

Photos courtesy of Rachel Ohnsman

Content warning: This story contains discussions of sexual assault and abuse.

There’s something beautiful about silver linings. They remind us that even amidst the darkest times, there can be light. It’s never a matter of what if, but when. Posed with the challenge of writing an ‘upbeat’ song about surviving sexual assault, singer-songwriter Rachel Ohnsman sought to find this hopeful outlook in her second studio album, Moon Songs.

Afterglow sat down with Rachel Ohnsman to talk about her new album and all of its challenges, dark lyricism, and light instrumentation.

Until now, Ohnsman had yet to explore her sexual trauma in music, let alone her happier songs; the two didn’t exactly “blend well in [her] mind.” Why would they? Every time she began to write about her experiences, her gut reaction was that something was wrong. The songs were too triggering or too vague, often avoiding the subject entirely or saying too much. Ohnsman detailed her struggles with addressing the matter, saying, “I’d been trying to write about my dramatic experiences for a long time, without much success. I tended to focus on other topics because everything that I wrote either felt like it was a diary entry, or it just wasn’t genuine.” But, this time around, as she sat down and began writing, Ohnsman realized that there was a silver lining to sexual assault: surviving. “Talking about it more from surviving and from overcoming made it a lot easier.” 

Surviving and overcoming her trauma shed light on experiences that had previously been eclipsed by darkness, but they did not entirely rid the narrative of its gloom. Ohnsman’s experience with sexual trauma is best understood with a balanced approach, one that acknowledges the many complexities of sexual assault, hookup culture, and the in-between. Over the course of its eight tracks, Moon Songs masterfully narrates a story of hurt and healing, exploring the many emotions that come with it. The music is light and enchanting — at times so picturesque that the audience is lulled into the beauty of the work, forgoing its dark subjects. Unlike Ohnsman’s latest jazz-influenced album Lovers, Moon Songs offers a soft alternative-pop sound, one that toys with synths, collaborations, and layering to create a much more experimental sound. The production is far more complex and the vocals, though raw and vulnerable sounding, are manipulated to create a dreamy aura. 

In the album’s opening track “Aphrodisiac,” Ohnsman teases her promiscuity, whispering, “If you need a drug / Then you’re just in luck / ’Cause I’m your new favorite substance in the making.” She plays up this sensual narrative, blurring the lines between love and lust, chaos and consent. As the blinding effects of the aphrodisiac set in, Ohnsman is lured into an experience she’s not entirely sure she wants and, yet, neither one of them stops. Initially, Ohnsman was afraid to release a song that seemed both sexy and scary. It was the kind of sexual trauma you don’t hear about on the news, the “in-between” as Ohnsman put it. But, Ohnsman explained how that doesn’t make these experiences any less valid or traumatic. “When I was growing up, I was feeling very isolated and completely denying that had been what happened to me,” she said. In Moon Songs, however, she explained how she finally leaned into that material a little bit more to get across that the gray area is still there, it happens and it’s just as real as any other experience. 

It’s not until “Eclipse” that the gravity of these actions begins to set in for Ohnsman. Amidst a tribal-like chant, Ohnsman clearly speaks to her perpetrator: 

You think you’re powerful 

But your strength lies behind shut doors and dark streets 

Closed legs and wet sheets 

Mine lives in the light

And that light can’t stay dark forever

This self-empowerment does not last long, unfortunately. The following track, “Ghost,” details an anxiety-ridden self-reflection. Ohnsman laments feelings of isolation and helplessness that seem all encompassing of her identity. No matter how desperately she’s in need of support, she can’t seem to find it within herself to ask for it. The haunting harmonies of Ohnsman’s voice in this song are accompanied by equally upsetting lyrics as she laments the many “missed calls, downfalls, and goodbyes” post-assault. She’s done crying, but her words feel empty, hopeless even. Ohsman reiterates this emptiness each time she echoes “ghosting” in her chorus. These feelings flow seamlessly through the 23-second interlude, “Never Leave Me…” into “Alone.” The interlude’s call for help transitions into the album’s second half, providing a more hopeful outlook. Ohnsman lays her grief to rest in “Space,” informing her perpetrator(s) repeatedly that they, “still don’t know the gravity of what [they’ve] done.” But, as they try to pull her into their darkness, she affirms that she’s ready to take back her space. Ohnsman’s voice is gradually met with the notes of a keyboard which set the slowed-down tempo for the song. The instruments create a feeling of wading, as though she purposely wants her audience to take a moment and understand the gravity of the situation. 

Countering “Space”’s subtler notes, the building guitar of “Sparkle” guides Ohnsman through finding the love and light within herself to stand up and demand change. This, indeed, is the ‘upbeat’ track her friend had been so desperately wanting. With a track reminiscent of Alicia Keys’ “Girl on Fire,” a listener can’t help but smile and dance. She’s chosen to pick herself up and move on, despite all of the pain she carries along with her. Ohnsman feels empowered by herself, her community, and her future, all things worth surviving for. Here, she sends a message: you are not alone. In the “Sparkle” music video, she depicts this sense of unity and camaraderie by incorporating dozens of faces, each holding the lyrics to her song and smiling alongside her. 

The exhilarating peak of Moon Songs levels out with the album’s closing track, “Found Myself,” a mournful ballad accompanied by the slow, melodic piano. After navigating the long, winding roads of recovery, Ohnsman has finally emerged feeling whole. In our interview, she noted how she wanted to create music that felt as though she were taking the power back in her own hands, rather than simply displaying a bad thing that’d happened to her. 

Amidst the darkness, Ohnsman manages to create a piece of work that is both expressive and dazzling. Collectively, the eight tracks embody more than another alternative-pop album; they tell a story, one that should not go forgotten. Ohnsman’s vulnerability and willingness to experiment with sound creates an all-immersive work of art, leaving her audience dumbfounded by Moon Songs and all of its complexities, even the silver linings.