Album Anniversaries: Sufjan Stevens Comes to Terms with Loss on 'Carrie and Lowell'

Following his mother’s death, Sufjan Stevens channels his grief into his most emotionally raw album to date.

In Album Anniversaries, writers honor their favorite aging albums and their subsequent legacies, revealing which projects have stood the test of time.

Written by C.S. Harper

Image courtesy of Asthmatic Kitty

Content warning: This article contains discussion of death and suicide.

 Many sad songs rely on overemotional vocals and contrived piano chords to force a feeling of sadness out of the listener. From Adele’s “Someone Like You” to A Great Big World’s “Say Something,” many pop songs use this formula to convey sorrow. In Sufjan Stevens’ 2015 album Carrie and Lowell, however, this feeling is genuine. The folk singer’s seventh studio album sees him come to terms with the death of his mother Carrie in 2012.

Carrie suffered from schizophrenia, depression, bipolar disorder, and alcoholism, and she abandoned her son when he was a year old. Stevens visited her only three times afterward, and her estrangement took a toll on him as an adult. As he recounts in a Pitchfork interview, “Her death was so devastating to me because of the vacancy within me. I was trying to gather as much as I could of her, in my mind, my memory, my recollections, but I have [sic] nothing.”

Stevens’ desperation bleeds through every moment of this record. Instead of using manipulative sad song tropes, the singer-songwriter creates personal lyrics and intricate folk instrumentation that express his raw emotions. As a result, he artfully crafts songs that capture the nuances of the grieving process in subtle, but heart-wrenching ways.

The opening track, “Death with Dignity,” sets both the tone and the themes of the album. It might seem cheerful on the surface, featuring arpeggiated guitars and Stevens’ trademark soft vocals. However, the song’s title is a reference to the Death with Dignity Act of Oregon, where Carrie lived with her second husband Lowell after leaving Stevens’ father. Although the folk singer doesn’t explicitly mention death, he discusses his loneliness in its aftermath. With the words “Spirit of my silence, I can hear you / But I’m afraid to be near you / And I don’t know where to begin,” Stevens conveys his reluctance to face his sorrow. Throughout the track, he continues to use metaphors to express his sadness until the last verse, in which he addresses his late mother directly. He forgives her for abandoning him as a child, wishing he could still be with her even though “every road leads to an end.”

In “Should Have Known Better,” Stevens continues discussing this remorse by juxtaposing his adult grief with childhood memories. He regrets how refusing to process his feelings about Carrie’s death has caused him to fall into depression. As he details his grieving process, he interweaves cryptic lyrics that capture snippets from his boyhood. Through lines like “She left us at that video store” and “I saw her face at the back of the door,” he depicts Carrie as a ghost that he vaguely remembers. In the second half of the song, bright synths replace the folk guitars as Stevens takes on a happier tone. He recognizes that he cannot reverse the past, so he focuses on present joys like the birth of his niece to cope with his pain.

The love songs “All of Me Wants All of You” and “John My Beloved” detail how Stevens’ sadness lingers in his relationships. In the former, the ambiguous lyrics and references to Oregon make it just as possible that he is addressing Carrie as he is a lover, which highlights how her absence has clouded his perception of others. By interchanging the lines “all of me wants all of you” and “all of me thinks less of you,” he conveys his mixed feelings about this person’s absence. In “John My Beloved,” Stevens’ focus switches between his relationship with another person and Christianity. At the end of the song, he asks for Jesus’ comfort and guidance in the face of his loss.

Photo courtesy of FilmMagic

“Eugene” and “Fourth of July” continue the anecdotal style of previous tracks. Stevens begins the former by recollecting fond memories of his visits to Carrie and Lowell’s home in Eugene, Oregon. In the last verse, he reflects on the fact that these moments are long gone, and he recognizes the futility of singing about them when his mother isn’t there to hear him. In “Fourth of July,” he relates a conversation he had with Carrie on her deathbed. She apologizes for leaving him but assures him that she did what was best for him. Telling Stevens that “we’re all gonna die,” she urges him to live his life to the fullest.

Even though “Fourth of July” offers closure for Carrie and Stevens’ relationship, “The Only Thing” and “No Shade in the Shadow of the Cross” reveal a low point in the singer’s psyche. His sorrow overtakes him, and his loss affects him in every aspect of his life: “Everything I feel returns to you somehow.” He engages in self-destructive behavior, falls into depression, and contemplates suicide.

After this downward spiral, the titular track takes Stevens back to his childhood. Singing “Carrie and Lowell / Such a long time ago,” the singer recalls his visits to Oregon. In revisiting these memories, he finally processes Carrie’s death. Although Stevens still grieves for his mother, the closing track “Blue Bucket of Gold" offers a glimmer of hope for him. He seeks to fill the hole that Carrie’s death left in him by turning to his faith and friends for comfort. By opening up about his grief and looking for healthy coping mechanisms, Stevens begins the healing process.

Carrie and Lowell illustrates the complexities of family trauma and the stages of grief. Through deeply personal lyrics and emotionally resonant production, Stevens creates his most cathartic work yet. Five years later, this album remains as relevant as ever thanks to its timeless themes about family, love, and loss. As we enter an era that will challenge all of these aspects of our lives, there’s no better time for listeners to find solace in this record and its message of hope.