The Soundtrack to Eating: #CakeChat

Betty Crocker, eat your heart out.

The Soundtrack to Eating is a series in which staff writers write about how food and music are intertwined.

Written by Afterglow Editorial Staff 
Illustrated by Darrina Green

Move over, Ina Garten. It seems like everyone has taken up baking during our shared quarantine experience — just take a quick scroll down any social media feed for evidence. The Afterglow Editorial Staff is no exception to the craze, with #CakeChat, a collaborative discussion all about cakes, taking our Slack channel by storm. 

Naturally, we sought to answer the question that’s on everyone's lips — what songs perfectly embody our favorite cakes? (No one’s asking that? Too bad! We answered it anyway!) 

But similar to how expecting parents play Brahms to their unborn child (play them 100 gecs, you cowards!), each type of cake demands its own unique soundtrack to curate optimal sugary goodness. 

So, the next time you find yourself in the kitchen whipping up your favorite cake, consider the music you play as an ingredient in its own right. Then, start a #CakeChat of your own. 

Funnel Cake: “Golden” by Harry Styles

Photo courtesy of CookingMamas

Funnel cake is as much the perfect kind of cake as Harry Styles’ sophomore LP “Fine Line” is the perfect summer album. And its first track, “Golden,” describes a key quality of what makes funnel cake so delectable: its sun-kissed coloring when it’s browned just right. The song’s sunny vibe matches the childish glee transferred from bite to body every time you attend a carnival and spend too much of your parents’ money on what amounts to a bunch of fried dough and a mountain of powdered sugar. It seems light and airy, but its calories pack a punch to the gut — that’s something to worry about later, though. The lyrics to “Golden” convey the same double-edged sword as breaking off a crunchy yet doughy piece of funnel cake in its chorus: “You’re so golden / I don’t wanna be alone,” Styles sings. Go ahead and take a bite, put on “Fine Line,” and pretend everything’s okay — because for one blissful moment of sugary goodness, it is. — Minnah Zaheer

White Cake, Pink Frosting: “Doll Parts” by Hole

Photo courtesy of Aggies Bakery

Courtney Love built a career out of subverting femininity. Live Through This, her band Hole’s masterpiece second album, dis plays an ecstatic beauty queen on its cover, but thrashes with anger in its grooves. “Doll Parts,” the album’s sixth single, seems simple enough: over the same three chords, she sings a confessional love song. But as always with Love, something is off about this pretty simplicity. “They really want you / But I do too,” she howls to Kurt Cobain, a line written when he was not yet her husband, but a rising, coveted idol. “I want to be the girl with the most cake,” she groans, declaring desire to a world that discourages women from want. What better flavor to match this metaphorical cake than vanilla? This white and pink dessert is the archetypal image destined to fit Love’s funhouse mirror of conventions. It fits right into the girlish aesthetic of her persona, and much like the red lipstick that so often wound up smudged on her chin, you can just picture this pink frosting smeared on Love’s face once she clawed her way to the rock and roll top. Despite the constraints of idle womanhood, for a moment, Love had everything she wanted: the band, the man, the fame. Pretty deep stuff, but for now, it’s a fitting singalong as we devour this classic convection in quarantine. — Carys Anderson

Mug Cake: “212” by Azealia Banks

Photo courtesy of Betty Crocker

Azealia Banks’ 2010 hit “212” might seem hard to place on the baked goods scale with its deep club beat, rising synths, and Banks’ cool repetition of “Imma ruin you c---,” but mug cake is certainly a strong contender, if not solely for its novelty. Banks’ vocal versatility, ranging from her smug verses to her shouted chorus, echoes mug cake’s hardy adaptability of throwing whatever is available into the most casual of dishware — or in Banks’ case, into the song. The track radiates unadulterated chaotic energy that likens it to a simpler chaos of life: the spontaneous baking of a cake in your microwave for it to be consumed in a feverish 2 a.m. rush. Both “212” and mug cake harness a building ferocity and result in a quick release of emotion, one that is explicitly delicious. — Laiken Neumann

Red Velvet Bundt Cake: “Royals” by Lorde

Photo courtesy of The Novice Chef Blog

The decadence. The opulence. The cultural impact. Like Lorde, we red velvet fans “crave a different kind of buzz.” Just as we salivate over this cream cheese frosted dream in the windows of Nothing Bundt Cakes, Lorde longs for wealth and luxury she’ll never be able to touch (except now she’s a multimillionaire, so she can have Cristal and Maybachs if she wants). The point is, generously iced red velvet bundt cake is over the top for pretty much any occasion, but if you get your hands on it, you dig in, baby, dig in. — Kasey Clarke

Whole Foods Berry Chantilly: “Blissing Me” by Björk

Photo courtesy of Whole Foods

If there is one thing quarantine has taught all of us to do, it’s how to yearn. While some may long to once again share simple touches with their loved ones, others, such as myself (and maybe only myself), long for a time in which one may go to Whole Foods and pick up a Berry Chantilly cake without worry. And for good reason — the cake is pure desire baked in a 6’’ tin. The delicate combination of fresh berries atop a light whipped cream icing  makes anyone who takes a bite pine after a summertime romance that might not even exist. Similarly, Björk’s “Blissing Me” from her most recent album, Utopia, is also filled with such dramatic yearning. In the song, Björk sings about missing her lover over a simplistic harp melody. Her light, airy vocals would be the perfect soundtrack to a bride walking down the aisle of a wedding chapel. In fact, if “Blissing Me” is the wedding song, then Berry Chantilly is the wedding cake. So while public gatherings and, subsequently, weddings have been put on hold for the next foreseeable future, these two just might suffice in a pinch. — Lauren Cook

Carrot Cake: “My Tennessee Mountain Home” by Dolly Parton

Photo courtesy of Food Network

A warm, almost humid fall afternoon swells over a small town as starched collars slowly wilt throughout the day, and all one can do is fan themselves as they rock in a hammock on their wrap-around porch. Did I just describe the introduction to “To Kill a Mockingbird?” Maybe. Oddly specific? I know. But that’s what one bite of this delectable cake tastes like. Often forgotten and greatly misunderstood, this savory cake belongs among the ranks of the classics, alongside angel food cake, marble cake, and German chocolate cake. Carrot cake is that salt-of-earth, feel-the-dirt-between-your-toes richness topped with a subtle, sweet cream cheese frosting reminiscent of good old-fashioned southern hospitality. Dolly Parton’s Bluegrass feel in “My Tennessee Mountain Home” perfectly embodies the feeling of indulging in a slice (or two) of this cake. Sprinkled with harmonica solos and easy-going whistling, the track’s airy nature evokes that same sense of nostalgia you feel when taking the first bite of a carrot cake slice. — Samantha Paradiso

Zebra Cake: “Hungry Hippo” by Tierra Whack

Image courtesy of Little Debbie

Finally, the snack cake representation this article needs! Nothing was better than opening your lunch box in school to find that your mom had packed you the holy grail of grade school lunch cuisine: the Zebra Cake. The only thing comparable to this feeling is listening to the absolute bop that is Tierra Whack’s “Hungry Hippo” from her debut album Whack World. The song’s title and “open up and bite it,” refrain even harken back to another childhood staple: Hungry Hungry Hippos. But beyond the pair’s nostalgic connections, both the song and the snack provide an experience that simultaneously excites and soothes the senses. The first bite of a Zebra Cake is pure, sugar confectionery bliss, much like the opening beats of this track. Plus, the treat makes it unique presence well-known in any #cakechat, much like Tierra Whack does in the world of hip-hop music. Time to go beg mom to pick some up from the store! — Delaney Davis