Let’s Talk About Sex: Sexual Liberation in the Age of Social Distancing

Doja Cat’s “Cyber Sex” really does “hit different” now that the internet is the only source of social interaction allowed.

In the series Let’s Talk About Sex, writers talk about sex. And music.

Written by Srija Reddy
Photo courtesy of RCA

Sex has always been a prevalent theme in music, but in the age of the internet, the growth of services like Pornhub, cam girls, and Tinder have further complicated the already nuanced experience. And now that the CDC advises people to remain six feet apart, technology has become the three in threesome. In “Cyber Sex,” Doja Cat advocates for online sexual fantasies and e-hookups, which in quarantine, makes more sense than ever before. 

Serving as the opening track to Doja Cat’s second album, Hot Pink, “Cyber Sex” sets the tone for the sexually charged beats that follow in the rest of the album. In the first verse, Doja Cat references various platforms for possible sexual engagement: 

We freak on the cam
Love at first sight, just a link to the 'Gram

Many claim that love is dead these days. Today’s generation simply wants to hook up; no one wants to make a meaningful connection anymore. Through her first verse, Doja Cat tries to turn up the romance with online love. Love at first sight is commonly associated with those intense and passionate, made-for-tv relationships like Romeo and Juliet, Tony and Maria, and Forrest and Jenny. Yes, the modern day equivalent to love at first sight may mean sliding into DMs, but both rely on instant attraction and bona fide confidence. Though untraditional, many successful relationships have been the fruition of a simple DM (looking at you, Zara Larsson).

P-ssy all pink with a tan
And I play with it ‘til my middle fingers are cramped up

For those without a quarantine lover, Doja Cat helps highlight an alternative — masturbation. It’s a no brainer that male pleasure is prioritized over women’s. Masturbation is seen as normal for men, but weird and shameful for women. In “Cyber Sex,” Doja Cat brazenly sings about masturbating, reclaiming female pleasure by showing that online sex is a collective effort. And beyond sex with a partner, women have other alternatives to “get off,” from feminist porn and erotic fan fiction to sex toys (which have increased in sales since quarantine began). By taking pride in her sex drive, Doja Cat celebrates female masturbation in a way that normalizes it for sexually frustrated quarantined listeners.

N----, my parents going through my sh-t (My sh-t, my sh-t)
Huh, oh, can't give head, you give me the FaceTime
N----, you a creep, I saw you on Dateline
You ain't gettin p-ssy, you fucking an AI

While sex online can be a positive experience, the second verse also highlights its complications. Photographing and sending nudes could cause snooping parents to immediately question their children’s sex lives, leading to a potentially awkward, “never look at each other the same” conversation. As if dating in real life wasn’t already hard enough, the distanced online connection allows predators to easily construct fake personas in an attempt to either lure others into dangerous situations or steal information. Like reality, online sexual interactions are not without their potential risks. Trust can be harder to gain when you may never meet the person you want to hook up with. 

While Doja Cat may or may not be using Zoom for her e-hookups, “Cyber Sex” is a celebration of the possibilities of sex via the internet. And during quarantine, “Cyber Sex” has grown from a sex-positive song to an anthem for the stuck inside and sexually frustrated college student. So who knows? Maybe we should all take Doja Cat’s advice and, “get freaky on camera.”