Why Is Misogyny So Catchy, And Who Do We Hold Accountable?
An analysis of what musical elements made misogynistic anthems like "I Write Sins Not Tragedies," "Don't Trust Me," and "Misery Business," so popular, and why some artists face backlash while others have yet to take accountability today.
Written by Audrey Vieira
Illustrated by Kriss Conklin
Brendon Urie has sung the word “whore” onstage hundreds of times in the years since “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” skyrocketed Panic! At The Disco to fame in September 2005. Statistics on setlist.fm report that Urie has performed the song no less than 812 times between 2005 and 2019, and although Urie does not always sing the offending lyric out loud, even assuming that he only does so half the time implies he has used the word at least 400 times in his performances. Not that many of the mostly female crowds at his concerts seem to mind — they proudly sing along with (and sometimes for) Urie to every word of the opening verse, and until “High Hopes” came along in 2018, “I Write Sins” was Panic!’s highest charting song, peaking at No. 7 on the Billboard Hot 100.
Urie is neither the first nor last musician to rise to fame for a hit single with less-than-feminist lyrics. Emo electronic duo 3OH!3 found similar success to “I Write Sins” with their own problematic party song “DONTTRUSTME,” in which singers Nathaniel Motte and Sean Foreman lament, “Don’t trust a hoe, never trust a hoe / Won’t trust a hoe, cause the hoe won’t trust me.” The second verse is even more uncomfortable with Foreman’s mention of “X’s on the back of [her] hands,” implying the target of his unreciprocated advances is under 21. While Motte and Foreman were 23 and 24 at the time of the song’s release, the verse feels more predatory as time passes, allowing Motte and Foreman to age into grown men while the subject of their song is forever under the legal drinking age. The bridge blends ableism into the mix with the line, “Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.” Yet in 2009, “DONTTRUSTME” peaked at No. 7 on the Hot 100, exactly the same spot where “I Write Sins” peaked three short years before.
Internalized misogyny climbed the charts as well, as demonstrated by Hayley Williams singing, “Once a whore, you’re nothing more,” to her love interest’s ex in Paramore’s breakout hit “Misery Business” which reached No. 26 of the Hot 100. Williams has since held herself accountable for the lyric in the years following the success of “Misery Business,” first by saying in a 2015 Tumblr post that the song was written from “a very narrow-minded perspective," and later in 2018 by announcing Paramore would no longer perform the song live. Yet “Misery Business” remains Paramore’s most-streamed song on Spotify, and had been a fan favorite prior to its removal from setlists, provoking the question: Why exactly were misogynistic songs like it so successful in the mid-to-late 2000s alternative scene?
The answer lies less in misogynistic language and more in the musical elements which compose these songs. “Misery Business,” “DONTTRUSTME,” and “I Write Sins” have more than just questionable lyrics in common — all three also contain non-lyrical vocals in their hooks to lure listeners in with infectious “woah” and “oh” melodies. “I Write Sins” opens with such “oh” vocals, which continue throughout the verses in the lead up to the “groom’s bride is a whore” line, while “Misery Business” and “DONTTRUSTME” both prominently feature “woah” throughout their choruses. Although lyrics may not always immediately register with a listener hearing a song for the first time, “woah” and “oh” vocals can elevate everyday songs into powerful earworms. “Once a whore, you’re nothing more,” was never the part of “Misery Business” that got Paramore crowds on their feet dancing during live performances — Williams stopped singing that line out loud long before the song was scrapped from setlists altogether — the real excitement came in the chorus with Williams belting, “Woah, I never meant to brag.”
3OH!3’s use of misogynistic language, on the other hand, goes beyond a singular throwaway lyric that can easily be cut from live performances, and may in fact contribute to the catchiness of “DONTTRUSTME” as the duo’s choruses of “woah” and “oh” are rhymed with their infamous line, “don’t trust a hoe.” Furthermore, unlike Paramore and Panic! At The Disco, whose later singles “Ain’t It Fun” and “High Hopes” would go on to peak higher than “Misery Business” and “I Write Sins” on the Hot 100, none of 3OH!3’s recent follow-up singles have reached the heights of “DONTTRUSTME” on the Billboard charts. Paramore has held themselves accountable for “Misery Business,” yet 3OH!3 continue to ride the coattails of “DONTTRUSTME” with the release of their latest album NEED, a slightly more mature sequel to 2008’s WANT.
Hypocrisy is partially to blame for the lack of backlash 3OH!3 and Panic! At The Disco have faced while Williams has held herself accountable for her lyrics. As Paramore remains one of the most prominent female-fronted bands in pop punk, Williams has been held to a higher standard than men in the industry despite having only used “whore” once in her breakout hit. Female artists in the alternative scene are compared to her regardless of whether or not their music is similar to Paramore, but male artists are not generalized as all sounding like Panic! At The Disco or 3OH!3, nor are they expected to be perfect beacons of feminist beliefs.
“People will get that [“DONTTRUSTME” is] tongue-in-cheek,” Motte said when asked about any regrets regarding his older lyrics in a 2019 interview with Paper Magazine. But a large reason why 3OH!3 are allowed to gain popularity for their catchy electropop anthem despite poorly aged elements of its lyrics is the fact that they are not put on a pedestal by those expecting perfection, nor are they chased with pitchforks for the slightest mistake. Urie, too, could apply a similar defense to “I Write Sins,” although he did not write it, since the song follows a fictional narrative of a wedding gone wrong. However, if Williams were to take to social media and say she was just kidding, or that she was being ironic, would she be taken at her word? Or would she be dismissed as an angry woman setting a bad example for an entire industry?
Prior to the removal of “Misery Business” from Paramore setlists, fans respected Williams’ decision to omit the “whore” line from performances, allowing the song to remain a fan favorite while acknowledging the internalized misogyny of the original verse. Writing out everything wrong with “DONTTRUSTME” would be a far more daunting task, but Motte and Foreman should still hold themselves accountable for the uncomfortable elements of the song which launched their careers and remains their most popular hit.
Misogynistic language aside, “Misery Business,” “DONTTRUSTME,” and “I Write Sins” remain incredibly catchy singles with infectious hooks and witty one-liners. Just because some elements of these songs aged poorly compared to others does not mean they should be purged from playlists or pulled from live setlists, but if an artist chooses to hold themselves accountable for the past, their fans should understand. After all, for every artist reckoning with the fact that they wrote such lyrics, there was a crowd of concertgoers once willing to sing along, and most are still willing to do so. But singing along would be easier if male artists held themselves to the same standards forced on Williams and acknowledged how their hits have aged poorly, even if they remain popular today.