“Loving You’s the Antidote”: Tracing a Medicinal Motif through Harry Styles Songs
Harry Styles opens up about his fear of loneliness through pills, prescriptions, and drugs in his songwriting. His reliance on medicinal relief lets listeners in on the pitiful life of a popstar.
Written by Janie Bickerton
Illustrated by Nora Sharaf
“What does Harry mean to me? I mean, what does air mean to my lungs,” a fan cheekily admitted in a pre-Harry Styles concert interview. This fan is not the only one who feels this way. Thousands of Harry Styles followers flock to his shows because he brings them joy, comfort, and community. “He’s always there for me,” said another fan in that same interview. The former One Direction star’s lyrics and persona offer fans an escape from reality, a remedy for their sorrows. Styles also finds joy in interacting with fans, but how does he cope with his own fears and emotions outside of the public eye? The fear of an end is laced throughout his songs, whether that be death, a breakup, or crippling lack of human interaction. Just as fans cling to him for support, the megastar uses medicine as a crux throughout his discography, taking listeners along on his quest for temporary relief from his emotional distress.
But Styles doesn’t just use medicine as relief – he references antidotes, drugs, and pills to bring his melancholia to life. In “Ever Since New York”, Styles grapples with dejection over the loss of his stepfather, lamenting that “There’s no antidote / For this curse.” Later in the song, he recognizes that the medicine his stepfather is taking is only afflicting more pain in his final moments. He’s impatient with the figure of Death, hoping for his loved one to pass before his affliction worsens, as he implores, “Oh, what’s it waiting for?” The “antidote'' serves a dual purpose. It literally reflects the medicine his sick stepfather is taking, while it also figuratively represents how there is no remedy for the singer’s preemptive mourning: he must bear this grief and experience the loneliness that accompanies it.
In his record-breaking hit “As It Was,” Styles is once again battling loneliness, this time popping pills to cope with the mind-numbing agony of “sitting at home on the floor.” “As It Was” encapsulates his feeling isolated in his stagnancy amid an ever-changing world. The crushing weight of “gravity holdin’ [him] back,” prevents him from living in the present, leading him to wallow in loneliness. The second verse addresses external concerns for such self-inflicted distress when an unnamed caller phones Styles, telling him he’s “no good alone,” before asking him, “What kind of pills are you on?” Masked by upbeat synths and the “Take On Me”-esque melody, Styles’ melancholy lyrics reveal his pitiful state at a time where he must learn to let go of the past and reckon with the daunting nature of the present.
Image courtesy of Columbia Records
In “Meet Me in the Hallway,” the opening track of his self-titled debut album, Styles pleads for a way to “just take the pain away” and introduces listeners to his prescription for loneliness: intimacy. Styles’ desperation feels palpable as he incessantly repeats, “I gotta get better” over a chorus of gloomy guitar strums. ” He pleads for a lover to “give [him] some morphine,” transforming sex into a drug as a way to remedy his sorrows. He hopes that he and his lost lover will “work it out,” but the tropical, mellow music that follows this supposition squashes this hope and impliesthat he’s succumbed to a fleeting, sexual antidote. In the final lyric, “’Cause once you go without it / Nothing else will do,” Styles recognizes that the temporal remedy he chose will never replace the love that he lost.
His sophomore album Fine Line opens with “Golden,” which finds Styles clinging to love to avoid loneliness.Through echoing vocals, a fast tempo, and joyous yet wistful guitar, Styles worships love as a means of reliance and a treatment for his despair. “Loving you’s the antidote,” he sings before the beat cuts out and he utters “Golden,” launching a series of jubilant vocals and a silvery drumbeat. Although this song sounds more joyful than “Ever Since New York” and “Meet Me in the Hallway,” its message remains: Styles is afraid of loneliness and wants to feel good even if his solution is not permanent. While on the surface “Golden” compares his lover to the radiant sun, it’s also a somber reminder that love as an antidote, despite its potency, is not everlasting. Styles recognizes the ephemerality of love by reluctantly admitting, “When it ends / Don’t wanna let you know / I don’t wanna be alone.” He is willing to hold onto a love that has lost its spark solely to avoid the loneliness that he knows all too well.
In “Medicine,” Styles’ unreleased song that fans practically beg him to sing, the motif of medicine is much more sultry than previous tracks documenting his obsession with medication . Here, Styles craves satisfaction and sings seductively, with swooning vocals backed by electric guitar. As per usual, Styles relies on someone else to make himself feel better, opening the song with the euphemistic lyric, “Here to take my medicine.” Electric guitar riffs, Styles’ suggestive performance, and lyrics about exploring sexuality (“The boys and the girls are in / I mess around with them / And I’m ok with it”) make “Medicine” a strong reminder that Styles turns to style to cover up his crippling fear of loneliness. Rather than reeling over a lost loved one, Styles has no apparent motive for “taking medicine” in this song. Instead, he enjoys his sexual escapades, using them as if they’re a recreational drug. However, the sultry mood in “Medicine” does not hide the fact that he is still reliant on sex to fill the gaping hole of loneliness. Will he ever learn?
According to the dream-like cadence in Fine Line lead single “Lights Up,” the answer is no, he will never learn. In the music video, beautiful, scantily-clothed people swarm Styles as he sings, “Step into the light / so bright sometimes / I’m not ever going back.” He is content with the high that comes from prioritizing intimacy over love, even if it means that this pleasure will not last forever. “Sorry, by the way, / Never coming back down,” he sings from his chest of his problematic reliance on sex like a drug but he’s too pleased by its effects to change his ways. The quick fix of medicine, drugs, and antidotes might be enough for a moment’s joy, but it will never bring lasting fulfillment.
As a songwriter, Styles utilizes figurative language as a way of working through his emotions. Images of light and sun reoccur to connote elation, while various fruits appear in his lyrics with heavy sensual connotations (queue “Watermelon Sugar”). Most prominent, however, is the medicinal motif, which weaves its way into much of Styles’ discography as an unceasing reminder of his losing battle with loneliness. Medicine and drugs provide relief, but they do not cure the affliction at hand. By prescribing medicine as a remedy for his forlorn state, Styles reveals his unwillingness to face his loneliness head-on and to find a permanent solution.
Whether it be Death, someone on the phone, or lovers old and new, other characters look on from a distance in Styles’ songs, knowing his ephemeral fixes will never bring him the accompaniment that he so desires. This downfall in Styles’ character makes him all the more relatable to fans. His fear of loneliness is a reminder that he is just as susceptible as the rest of us to grief, desperation, and longing. Who knows — maybe Styles’ current cure is going on a never-ending Love on Tour, where he can create a loving space devoid of loneliness for himself and his fans alike.