Ballad Breakdown: Finding Comfort in Unfamiliarity with Gracie Abrams’ “Right now”
On Good Riddance, Gracie Abrams explores the agony of devastating heartbreak one piano note at a time. Ending on a hopeful note, the outro “Right now” slowly embraces the positive outcomes of moving out, moving on, and blossoming into who you were meant to be.
Written by Claire Hookstra
Photos courtesy of Abby Waisler
Gracie Abrams has found quick success in today’s music scene after gaining initial popularity via YouTube covers filmed from her L.A. bedroom. She released her first EP, minor, with Interscope Records in 2020, following it with several Zoom concerts throughout the pandemic. The seven-track confessional EP captures utter heartbreak and teenage yearning, with stand-out “I miss you, I’m sorry” remaining her most streamed song on Spotify.
In 2021, Abrams reached new heights with her sophomore EP, This Is What It Feels Like, and departed on both her first headline tour and on Olivia Rodrigo’s Sour Tour as her opening act. However, this attention caused a larger audience to harp on her last name and question if nepotism invalidated her stardom. Abrams, despite the spreading negativity, continued to cultivate a safe space for her dedicated and growing fanbase which resonated with her brutally honest style of songwriting and captivating stage presence.
The indie songstress’ first two EPs present a simplistic melancholy. Sonically, the works morph intricate guitar and piano notes with Abrams’ whisper-like harmonies. The production of both EPs is quiet and delicate, letting the lyrics play the dominant role of each track. In comparison, her 2023 debut album Good Riddance showcases Abrams’ growth with emotional tracks and grandiose production. Co-written and produced by The National’s Aaron Dessner, Good Riddance pushes aside the innocence surrounding the two EPs by solidifying Abrams’ artistry with her matured vocal range and hauntingly beautiful lyrics.
The final track of Good Riddance, “Right now,” tackles the internal battle between the guilt and fulfillment that arises when moving out of one’s childhood home. Somber, twinkling piano notes start off the song, swelling in volume until Abrams’ distinct voice breaks through the sound. “Look at me, I feel homesick,” she solemnly utters, piercing through the woeful piano. Immediately setting up the song's narrative, Abrams reminisces on the familiar sights and sounds surrounding her in her past home. “Want my dog in the door / And the light in the kitchen / From the fridge on the floor,” she painfully recounts, yearning for a familiar sense of comfort in her new environment. After analyzing what pains her about the past, Abrams confronts the trials of the present within the same verse. “People 24/7 / It’s the best and a curse / All they do is remind me / That I’m still introverted,” Abrams spirals as she realizes the contrast between her peaceful childhood and the chaotic present. At a crossroads in her career and her life, she grapples with passing time and regret while approaching what lies ahead with giddy excitement.
The emotional power of “Right now” lies in the ballad's chorus. “I’m so high, but can’t look down / Left my past life on the ground,” Abrams reassures herself quietly on the track, reflecting that she has moved on from her past and is now “higher” than ever. Despite being homesick and longing for her childhood to return, she knows she cannot look back and must continue to push forward. “Think I’m more alive somehow / I feel like myself right now,” she admits with an uneasy tone, as if she is pleading with herself to feel this way. The production builds with layering percussion-like beats and piano melodies as the chorus progresses, which mimics Abrams’ mindset of becoming more sure of her newfound self.
Immediate silence follows as the instrumentals effortlessly transition into the second verse. Abrams expresses her newfound uncertainty by observing, “This is somebody’s hometown / Never been here before.” She then explains the wrongdoings she fears she made by leaving her hometown as the guilt swells into the song. “Am I losing my family? / Every minute I’m gone?,” she questions as the steady piano crescendos behind her quavering voice. Regret arises as Abrams accepts that moving out of her family home made her stronger and feel more like herself than ever before. The complex emotions of longing for the past and excitement for the future figure throughout the verse as she struggles to overcome this festering regret.
The climactic narrative of navigating growing pains peaks with the second chorus. While at the beginning of the ballad, Abrams is trying to convince herself that she has found who she is truly meant to be, the second chorus bears a tone of relief. Her voice echoes through the instrumentals as she exclaims how proud she is to have found herself in her new surroundings. “I’m so high but can’t look down,” she vocally punches. The second chorus adds a moment of reflection: “I’m so tired but can’t sit down / What if this is it for now?” The singer-songwriter recognizes that her new life is far from perfect; however, she is thriving from the hard work it has presented. She’s “tired” but continues to push herself due to the excitement and anticipation for what lies ahead. Rather than letting regret overwhelm her, Abrams decides to embrace that she has found herself after growing up and moving away from her loved ones. The outro is calm in tone, as she simply repeats “I feel like myself right now,” three times as the powerful production hums to a silence. She humbly accepts that she is now the best version of herself, despite being away from what she longs for most.
“Right now” represents an eloquent, mature view of the pain that coincides with growing up. The battle between homesickness and finding independent freedom is a tough one to wage. Abrams and Dessner exquisitely harness these complexities into simplistic yet profound diction and a sonic landscape that encapsulates inner turmoil. Abrams, on writing the ballad alongside Dessner, told Teen Vogue, “It felt like this very expansive place, to put down a lot of these details, that felt very relevant at the time, and still do.” Good Riddance is an album of self-accountability and realizing your own flaws in relationships. “Right now” ends the work on a note of hope and reassurance that things can turn around. Even if it is an uphill battle with inner turmoil and pain, it is one worth fighting for to discover oneself.
Though skeptics have doubted the integrity of her rise to fame, she has proved her rightful place as a musical powerhouse with her nuanced take on emotional growth in “Right now.” Overall, both “Right now” and Abrams' path to success remind her listeners that their emotions, though tough, are worth pushing through to experience the precious journey of growing up. Whether homesick or content, we must all navigate through growing pains so that we too, can feel like ourselves “right now.”