How Finding New Music Helped Me Heal After a Breakup

Let’s be real: breakups suck. How are you supposed to listen to your ex’s favorite songs ever again?

Written by Gabriela Ruiz

For a certain period of time, you and your partner share everything with each other, whether it be your past, your hopes, your dreams, or most importantly — your favorite songs. Eventually, some of your favorite songs become their favorite songs. But after you split, what do you do?

No matter how hard you try to ignore it, the songs constantly remind you of your ex. This was a challenge that I faced after my recent breakup, since I regularly made my ex playlists that consisted of songs I loved. What was I supposed to listen to after those songs became tarnished? After a few days of avoiding Spotify after the breakup, I was set on finding songs that made me feel strong, hopeful, and optimistic for the future. Here are a few of those songs.

1.“Last One” — The Aces

“Last One” by alternative girl group The Aces is about no longer letting your life revolve around your ex. The song begins with the lyrics “You’ve kept me sleepless every night, I swear this is the last one,” showing that lead vocalist Cristal Ramirez’s thoughts have been consumed by those of her former lover. The verse continues with “Tryin’ to brush you off but you keep stumblin’ into my songs,” which hints that Ramirez has failed to keep herself preoccupied by making music. Throughout the song, Ramirez convinces herself — and her audience— that this is the last one that she’ll ever dedicate to her ex, giving her one final shot to express everything she’s wanted to say since the breakup.

2.“It’s Alright, It’s OK” – Ashley Tisdale

Former Disney star Ashley Tisdale’s pop track “It’s Alright, It’s Ok” is about accepting that a relationship is officially over. From the start, Tisdale reflects on her breakup with the lyrics “You told me there’s no need to talk it out ‘cause it’s too late.” Tisdale’s ex clearly does not want to rekindle their relationship and won’t budge on it. Despite the situation’s difficulty, Tisdale has found an imbued sense of inner strength and decides she won’t beg for her ex to take her back. She refuses to settle for someone who won’t truly love and support her.

3.“Let It All Out (10:05)” – COIN

“Let It All Out (10:05)” by indie-pop band COIN is about allowing yourself to express a mixture of emotions in all their contradictions. In the first verse, lead singer Chase Lawrence contemplates his estranged relationship with the lyrics “When you love something but you’ve had enough / when you hold someone but you’re losing touch.” Although Lawrence still cares for his partner, he knows he is falling out of love with them. After what is assumed to be a breakup, he is left lost and confused, asking the questions “Jesus, are you listenin’? If you have a plan, can you fill me in?” In the end, Lawrence knows that he made the right decision to break things off but is still unsure of what the future holds.

4.“Good as Hell” – Lizzo

On “Good as Hell,” Lizzo picks herself up and begins to heal after a breakup with the lyrics: “Come now, come dry your eyes … I know that it’s hard but you have to try.” In the chorus, Lizzo also avoids dwelling on the past by telling herself “If he don’t love you anymore, just walk your fine a-- out the door.” The pop artist realizes that she now has to focus on herself, and wants to do things that make her happy. “Good as Hell” proves that you don’t need a significant other to feel content with your life and yourself.

5.“10/10” – Rex Orange County

Throughout the first verse of “10/10” by Rex Orange County, born Alexander O’Connor, the indie-pop artist looks back on his troubled past, singing, “I had a year that nearly sent me off the edge / I feel like a five, I can’t pretend.” Nonetheless, O’Connor is willing to do whatever it takes to improve himself and his future. He also gives himself a pat on the back in the pre-chorus with the lyrics: “I’ll give myself a little credit since I dealt with all the pain.” While this song isn’t specifically about a breakup, it still provides words of encouragement that could easily comfort someone recovering from the end of a relationship.

Although a breakup can cause the interpretations of your favorite songs to change, it doesn’t have to prevent you from ever listening to those songs again. Hopefully one day, when your heart has fully healed, you can find a way to detach your favorite songs from your memories of your ex.. But in the meantime, enjoy these songs, and push yourself to find new tracks, albums, and artists that have no connection to your former partner.

Afterglow ATXFebruary 17, 2020